Tuesday, March 14, 2017


Does it mean anything to interpret your dreams? I go through phases where I don't dream much at all - probably due to my use of Mary Jane, the wonder sleep drug. Whenever I stop smoking ganj, my head is flooded with the wildest imagery and scenarios. Last week, I dreamed I was cuddling in a bed with GG Allin. He had a big, bushy, salt-and-pepper beard and looked like a skeletal Charles Manson and had a greasy patina all over his body. Where had he been hiding all these years? Why was he back now, and why in the hell was I cuddling this disgusting King of Filth? A mixture of terror and intrigue washed over me in my subliminal thoughts. Somehow, it was decided that my band was to open for him at a concert in a park. I was stoked and ran off to tell everyone, only to come back and find that all trace of GG and the concert had disappeared.
Again, last night, my mind was full of meaningless scenarios and questionable characters: the rain had flooded our rural hillside house. A stranger was about while we were preparing for a banquet or wedding. The house was a ramshackle, multi-room cabin in the woods. The trees were skraggy with all foliage blown away from the winter rains. Through the mud, my friend Bar and I tracked the lurking stranger. He was one of my produce accounts, a guy who was a bit surly and clueless. He was in another cabin. We asked him what he was doing there and the answer seemed vague. He seemed to be in a tortured state, so we took pity on him. Flash forward to driving on Highway 199 north of Gasquet, California. It's only me and the kids in the car. We decide to take a turn up a twisty side-road, up to a secret woods community of off-the-grid neighbors, salt-of-the-earth river folk. An extra kid, who is a friend, is with us. He somehow either takes LSD or administers it to the group. The Manson-esque hippies are not pleased and beat the children. I am afraid but I let the beatings continue. We hurriedly assemble ourselves and get back in the car to get the hell off the mountain and start to drive back home to Portland.

Wednesday, February 22, 2017

World of hurt 2017

Lately I've been on the same 25 hour news cycle that everyone else has been on. Even when I tune out of the news for a few days, eventually I end up looping back and checking the typical sites again and again. News Blues - who wants to wear those shoes? What have I gained? A fucking headache. It's all bullshit. I've been wary of the impending enviro-societal collapse since forever and now it looks like we'll be getting exactly what 14-year-old me was so excited about - stupid societal breakdown and increasingly shittier government run as a subsidiary to energy and oil industry. Just an opinion. Hi mom.

I'm up in Seattle on a work trip with my friends and colleagues today and tomorrow. I have to travel for my job now, something that I've had to work to adapt to (as weird and small as that sounds.) I realize I've become a curmudgeon in my mid-age, preferring to grind it out 5 days a week, compartmentalizing my home and work lives so that they stay steady and consistent. Travel, even a little bit, helps me break out of my day-to-day rut and at least see some new sights, have some good conversations and see a lot of produce departments. I have to say, Seattle has a lot of competition and therefore several beautifully done produce departments. Support produce, eaters of the world! Especially with all the extreme rains going on in California right now, we may see a disruption in supply for things like citrus, salad items, row crop vegetables and various lettuces, which are all drowning under muddy water as I write this. Eat healthy - the end is nigh!

I love this story and this band. They are really funny on social media too, they are a few years older than this now. Unlocking the Truth! love it:

Unlocking The Truth - Malcolm Brickhouse & Jarad Dawkins from The Avant/Garde Diaries on Vimeo.

Monday, January 23, 2017

Trumptonion TImes...Gloopy Globs 2017

SO far 2017 has been a bit exhausting for me. The Holidays always take a large amount of energy (and money) and of course my work is busiest during that time and the weather has been shit; combine that with too many calories and too much imbibing... Happy New Year. I need a nap.
Tina and I decided to stop drinking for the month of January...right before the biggest snowstorm and cold snap Portland had seen in a long time. With booze on the shelf sitting neglected, I drank tea, shoveled the walkway and used our cooped up blizzard days as an excuse to write and record 11 pretty silly songs: Gloopy Globs... A lot of times I just like to bash out song ideas just to see where they go. Some of these songs go somewhere and some of them go nowhere - I hope you enjoy the unedited, lo-fi goodness. Refelecting on the Trumpian times we are in... I feel like I am just now coming out of the stunned trance I've been in since the election. Am I so predictable as the middle-of-the-road liberal who is blindsided by the flyover-state revolt against coastal elitism? It hit me hard. I half expected and feared that Trump would come to pass due to the extreme insider-ness of Hillary. She was a bad choice and the DNC shit the bed. My main mantra through this whole episode - "Things change; get used to it." We don't have the luxury to go back in time to a more stable era that we all remember. We're opening our eyes to the blinding realization that reality is less like we ever thought it was and more like the dystopian sci-fi wet dream of Phillip K Dick merged with an evil Mel Brooks plot. Even our tried and true liberal heroes are far and few between - I like our senators, they always hit the right talking points for me - but sometimes I just feel pacified when what I really want is action. And climate change? Suddenly I'm a whining liberal with a hopelessness complex. Whoops, I'm on the treadmill of life too - it's hard to take anytime to think about protesting when you're working, doing the family things, slumping over at the end of each night and then resting and repeating indefinitely. The woman's march against Trump was a beautiful thing, I'm glad it happened. I felt so disheartened up until that point. I feel better now on some level since apparently, from the huge numbers of people out marching, I am not so alone in my inner panic about having to deal with what I consider a harsh, unpredictable political change. Take nothing for granted, we're in for a bumpy ride.